OT: Parenting

Mr Router · Post by **Mr Router** » 13 March 07 3:20 pm

The Ginger Loon wrote:My girls, 6 and 3, can be a bit competitive at times. I've used this to my advantage when asking them to clean up the play room.

It goes like this;

"OK girls, 5 points for every piece of stuff you pick up and put away in the right place, let's see who wins. Ready, set... wait for it... go!"

You should see the frenzy as they try to out-do each other for "points".

They'ii figure you out soon enough!

Waterwells · Post by **Waterwells** » 13 March 07 11:32 pm

Bronze wrote:There is one downside.

I went out to Mow the lawns at lunch time. Now or mower you push the button three times to prime it and then you have to pull the cord four time before it will start.

Pull. pull. snap.

Now I wonder just how much of a coincidence that is. Awfully sus to me. I happen to know one of the local forensic investigators here in town. I wonder if I should run the cord over to him and ask for his professional opinion.

Little buggers could have just pulled the spark plug lead off instead!

Hehehe ..

Have you wondered if your previous history, ie: running your mower over Tonka toys, could be the problem?? And if perhaps your lawn mower has been affected by more than just 'blunt blades', as a result??

Your 'two angels', may very well be innocent!

(Bless their little cotton socks!!

)

An afterthought?

On a personal note, we're now looking forward to grandbabies ... we'll love and enjoy them with every ounce of our being ....... before happily returning them to their rightful owners!
It's called 'payback'!

Papa Bear_Left · Post by **Papa Bear_Left** » 14 March 07 11:07 am

Waterwells wrote:On a personal note, we're now looking forward to grandbabies ... we'll love and enjoy them with every ounce of our being ....... before happily returning them to their rightful owners!
It's called 'payback'!

A friend of mine had a fridge magnet that read: "If I'd known how much fun grandchildren were, I'd have had them first!"

Zytheran · Post by **Zytheran** » 14 March 07 11:45 am

The Ginger Loon wrote:My girls, 6 and 3, can be a bit competitive at times. I've used this to my advantage when asking them to clean up the play room.

It goes like this;

"OK girls, 5 points for every piece of stuff you pick up and put away in the right place, let's see who wins. Ready, set... wait for it... go!"

You should see the frenzy as they try to out-do each other for "points".

There's these people I know that hide stuff in boxes and then find it with a GPS. You should see the frenzy as they try to out-do each other for "stars".
Oh, wait...

The Ginger Loon · Post by **The Ginger Loon** » 14 March 07 12:00 pm

Mr Router wrote:They'ii figure you out soon enough!

That's OK. I can think up other inventive ways of getting them to clean up.

I wonder how the lawn mower would go through the play room?

bigmickb · Post by **bigmickb** » 14 March 07 1:17 pm

Interesting. I've learnt quite a bit from this thread and some valuable lessons. I've tried to apply said lessons to my partners two kids in an effort to get them to clean up the back yard.

Sadly it appears that Golden Retreivers just aren't as susceptable to threats such as these.

One of them will happily retreive one of her toys at lightening speed, but usually with a view towards me throwing it back out where it came from. As for the other one, he's too much of a pretty boy/princess to attempt anything resembling work....

MrsMix · Post by **MrsMix** » 18 March 07 10:02 am

He he.

I said to the older one this morning.

"who's light sabers are out there next to the trampoline" icon_biggrin.gif

He didn't even answer - He ran straight out and gabbed them immeadiately. Even picked up his brothers toys while he was at it.

What a classic

Have only just read this thread now. Reminds me of when I think it was No. 2's? bike that had kept being left outside on the front lawn and how you hid it in the garage and made him think it had been stolen? LOL

Bronze · Post by **Bronze** » 18 March 07 5:08 pm

Who me

are you sure?

MrsMix · Post by **MrsMix** » 18 March 07 7:18 pm

hehehe

Team Red Devil · Post by **Team Red Devil** » 22 March 07 11:01 pm

Bronze- you are an inspiration!

Some top parenting tips have emerged....and hey- better parents raise better cachers

I would have done the same thing...sometimes it takes something extreme in order to make them realise that you are serious- kids can sometimes not take their parents seriously...and thats when we need to let them know we are!

I've applied both your technique and the bag and hide technique in my parenting career. Both quite successfully...in this day and age- parents have to think smarter- our kids are bombarded with technology from a very young age- making them think and learn faster than they ever have before. We need all the help we can get.

Cached · Post by **Cached** » 22 March 07 11:07 pm

& Welcome back TRD - been a long time!

Mr Router · Post by **Mr Router** » 23 March 07 7:35 am

The Ginger Loon wrote:
Mr Router wrote:They'ii figure you out soon enough!
That's OK. I can think up other inventive ways of getting them to clean up.

I wonder how the lawn mower would go through the play room?

Then you loose ! When you carm down it's you that has to pay the cleanup ! Doah

Team Red Devil · Post by **Team Red Devil** » 23 March 07 5:25 pm

[Start Rant]
Oh and did I mention they are taught by the media and everyone that its 'illegal' for us to punish them in certain ways- so our power as parents is often diminished because all the do-gooders out there say we can't do certain things.....a smack or a grounding never hurt me- yet they're supposedly not allowed any more...I was shocked to hear about the grounding one- its called something like 'Illegal Depravation of Civil Rights' or some such crud. 
 
IMHO, most of the reason the world has descended into a world full of uneducated, lazy teenagers with nothing better to do than cause trouble, take drugs and beat up people is because parents rights to teach their kids that if you break the law, there are consequences has been taken away....how many kids get punished for the big stuff? I mean those kids here that just burnt down a famous Fremantle landmark with over FIVE MILLION dollars damage, and who knows how much in historical value...will probably be in juvenile detention (from all accounts not too bad a place to be really) fior a couple of years at the most. 
 Kids don't fear authority...they laugh at it. 
I'm not advocating belting the snot out of your kids, but I don't believe a smack here and there is a bad thing...and I certainly advocate grounding and depravation of anything they hold near and dear. 
 
I may sound harsh- but just look at the world of teenagers around you...no fear of authority at all.
[End Of Rant]
 
PS: Thanks Cached- its good to be back!

Papa Bear_Left · Post by **Papa Bear_Left** » 23 March 07 6:46 pm

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.

~Attributed to SOCRATES by Plato

The world is passing through troubling times. The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress.

Extract from a sermon preached by Peter the Hermit in A.D. 1274.

The above are by no means proven not to be apocryphal, but I know my mother (now 83) says that her mother often commented on how lazy and immoral the younger generation was. Then came WWII and made some of them grow up quickly, and many others never get the chance to.

Now get those damn kids off my lawn!

Bronze · Post by **Bronze** » 24 March 07 8:44 am

apocryphal

1. of doubtful authorship or authenticity.
2. Ecclesiastical.
a. (initial capital letter) of or pertaining to the Apocrypha.
b. of doubtful sanction; uncanonical.
3. false; spurious: He told an apocryphal story about the sword, but the truth was later revealed.

You beat me to it but not in those words or with that / those examples. You could not have put it better but Bear.

Welcome back Red.

Team Red Devil wrote:'illegal' for us to punish them in certain ways- so our power as parents is often diminished because all the do-gooders out there say we can't do certain things.....a smack or a grounding never hurt me- yet they're supposedly not allowed any more.

most of the reason the world has descended into a world full of uneducated, lazy teenagers with nothing better to do

Red you I have to say it but you are right and wrong about this part. You are right that to some degree our children are more sedentary and hedonistic in their ways but it is important as parents we always take the glass half full approach to kids and their ways. Don't tell what is wrong, monkey see money do - Hey Pesky.

It is not illegal to smack or ground your children. There are just restrictions on what is inappropriate. You cannot hit a child above the shoulder like around the head and if you must hit your child it should be the bottocks or back of the legs at these have shock value and a much reduced rick of severe injury. That being said I use every trick in the book before I would ever smack a child. I can't do it as a teacher and I have good behavioral outcomes and results so why should I need to do it as a parent. Have you ever seen a parent hit and child for hitting another child and then scream at them "Don't hit people!" Kinda dosen't make sense does it. I'm not a do gooder I just like to set the example of what is right and what is wrong to my kids.

You have the right to ground children up until legally the age of 16. The only reason you cannot is if you do not adequately provide for the child while they are grounded which includes food, water and mental stimulation such as conversation, reading materials and activities such as chores. The child must not be locked away unable to exit the building in the event of fire. Courts have not agreed on what length of time is excessive but the consensus of various parenting experts ranges from anything over 1 month to 6 weeks is now restricting social development of the child.

So what happens after 16. Well they are free to leave but while they are living under your roof they must live by your rules and the courts will back you on this. At this age the child developmentally should have enough common sense to know right from wrong. This age is different for children with an intellectual impairment. I think it is extended to 21. A child must go to school up until the age of 14 years and 9 months and then has until 16 to start providing for themselves should they choose to leave the home. I should be so lucky

Team Red Devil wrote:because parents rights to teach their kids that if you break the law, there are consequences has been taken away....how many kids get punished for the big stuff? I mean those kids here that just burnt down a famous Fremantle landmark with over FIVE MILLION dollars damage, and who knows how much in historical value...will probably be in juvenile detention (from all accounts not too bad a place to be really) fior a couple of years at the most.

I have been an educator in Worrimi Remand Centres Wallis Plains School, now closed. It was my job to teach inmates to "Stop and Think". Not an easy job for repeat offenders which were my main clients to begin with. I ran a traffic light program where if the child met with authority upon release, because they were known I had to use my Drama skills to role play the various situations they may find themselves in and then role play all the scenarios based on the child's decisions. The main aim was to get the child to stop, think and wait 30seconds before answering questions or following through with an action. If they wanted so badly to hit the questioning police officer, see themselves doing it, watch it happen in their mind and then what... What happens after this? Do they become famous or do they end up where there already at.

Don't be fooled. Remand and detention centres are an awful place to be. You do not want your children to be in there. Some months ago I was having trouble with my oldest at school. He was being violent and acting out. Not uncommon for his age but he was suspended for 3 days for his actions. The afternoon I found out I drove him to the police station and took him in to see people in cuffs, all the uniforms and burly officers busy answering phones. Then we walked over to the court house and he saw the druggies leaving, people yelling at each other and people crying - couldn't have timed it better if I planned it. Then we drove out the the Linkin Centre out on the hill in West Dubbo. We walked around the big fences and he broke down crying, scared that he would get locked behind the big fences. This is when I comforted him and told him that if he keeps behaving the way he is there will be nothing I can do to stop the police and courts from locking him behind the fences. It must be him and only him that can make the changes. The next three days were spent writing apologies for the child he hurt, his teachers and principal and completing all the same work his peer were doing. I didn't smack him but I did hurt him and got the desired result.

Team Red Devil wrote:Kids don't fear authority...they laugh at it.

This should really say SOME kids don't fear authority. It's up to the parents to instill that fear that if you are doing something wrong you will get caught. There will always be that percentage of kids who you cannot tell and they have to experience. You can tell them to say no to Drugs but unless you physically show them the consequences when they are young you are still only telling them and they will try drugs anyhow. As a parent I think you have to actually connect the kids to someone who knows what they are talking about because unless you have a needle sticking out of your arm there opinion is you don't know what your talking about. They need to see the drug user sick, broke, spewing and in rage for a shot. If you shelter them then they will walk around with an "It can't happen to me attitude". and why wouldn't they.

We instill fear in our kids everyday. Sometimes directly but usually indirectly. I always pick up my wallet when I go out and say - "I need this incase I get pulled up by the police". If I don't say it my kids will ask if I have my wallet on me. "Don't wanna lose you licence Dad". We talk to our kids teachers. If our kids fart in class we know about it. If one of our kids flicks the bird (uses their rude finger) on the bus we take then around to the bus company and make them apologise to the company owner and the driver. Our kids recently got the right to ride there bikes around the block. They observe the road rules and come in when the street lights come on. If they don't they lose the bikes a day every time they break a road rule or are a minute late after the light come on. Thats what we agreed upon.

Team Red Devil wrote:I'm not advocating belting the snot out of your kids, but I don't believe a smack here and there is a bad thing...and I certainly advocate grounding and depravation of anything they hold near and dear. I may sound harsh- but just look at the world of teenagers around you...no fear of authority at all.

I think you are justified in your rant and I am not a dogooder but I am unorthodox in my parenting. My wife says "You can't do that" but I do anyhow and in the end it works. I have smacked my kids but all it seems to do for me is distance them. They despise me when they need guidance the most.

My wife refused to shop with our oldest son anymore when he was about 4. He chucked a full on tanty one day in the supermarket because he couldn't get what he wanted, so I chucked a bigger one right next to him mimicking everything he did until he ran out of the shop. I ripped packets off the shelf and threw myself on the floor kicking and punching the vynal tiles. The singles were horrified and the parents around me applauded. It's no different to a busker putting a show on in the main street. Since that day He's never chucked a tanty but is still disappointed when he dosen't get the toy he wants.

Parenting is a frustrating job. We don't get manuals, support, advice and just when you have a win you loose again. As in my case your own parent maybe weren't the best and sometimes you just have to stop and think yourself and consider "What is it I want?, Now how am I going to get it". Avoid the emotion of the moment. If you need time to think it over then say to the child - I need to think about this. Put them in time out and seek advice. I'm not perfect as a parent but I certainly have fun doing it.

Now - Caching. A great way to punish you kids. Clean your room of your Naving the 5/5 on the weekend I'm doing.