Blanket Apology

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Bronze
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Blanket Apology

Post by Bronze » 22 July 09 8:44 pm

For those of you who give a rats freckle.

I just wanted to apologize for my conduct and comments which may have offended members of the forum past. I have (I think) just come through a fairly rough patch of depression which was particularly severe. After a bout of Ross River Fever just over two years which spun me into depression. My family also had to move away due to another illness with my son and my employer saw fit to not transfer me closer to the family unit.

So... long story short I had the poops with life in general and without much of a social life I decided to flush one of my two passions (the other being volkswagens) down the drain. With that I lost a few friends but one saving grace was that Dak and I were able to kiss and make up before he moved on to greener pastures. Thanks for you call mate. You saw it before I even knew what it was.

One important thing I must say while I have the soap box is a very special thank you to several fellow cachers who saw it for what it was and took the time to ring and speak to me at length on more than one occasion. They told me about their experiences, support networks and recommended books. I would thank them and although they probably hardly knew me from a street vendor they cared enough to call and keep track of my progress. You know who you are and I, and my family thank you for your support.

I digress. The last couple of years have been a spinning blur and I have been dealing with one day at a time but now I can see it is a tunnel and not a train coming towards me. I'm fairly sure the black dog is at bay and on a good lead.

Apologies to any forum member (past or present) who I may have been a bit short with. I still may not be around as much but I though it the proper thing to stop by, have a look and take the time to say sorry and thanks.

Depression is a very strange experience and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It drives a wedge into everything you love and paints black all that was once worthwhile. I attribute my vast improvement to persistent and tolerant friendships; medication, acupuncture and being rejoined with my family.

If you got this far thank you for taking the time to read my rant. If you know someone who may have depression stay with them and just sit and talk. It's not a man thing to do but it has to be done.

Warmest regards,

Bronze.
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CraigRat
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Re: Blanket Apology

Post by CraigRat » 22 July 09 9:00 pm

It's a joy to see you back here!

I'm glad things are looking a bit brighter for you.

We missed ya!

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Postman Pat
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Re: Blanket Apology

Post by Postman Pat » 22 July 09 9:34 pm

The Main problem with forums is that there is no personal Contact so reading body language is not possible.A hobby as wide ranging as ours meeting and greeting is a rare event 8) For those that have have meet you personally it is a pleasure to have you back on the Forums. :mrgreen:

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Richary
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Re: Blanket Apology

Post by Richary » 22 July 09 9:43 pm

Hey mate, more of us have been there than you realise. I was probably in that space myself when we went caching last year. I know there were a few times last year when life was looking pretty bad. Luckily those times are less and less as time goes on, but you know enough of my story to know the triggers behind it. But even people close to me - friends and workmates - probably never saw the space I was in at the time as outwardly I would usually function OK.

Things still trigger memories and bad thoughts at times. This conversation may be one of them as was last week's work trip to Adelaide. Places that triggered memories.

But if the last 2 years have taught me anything it is that you can survive it, and still go out and enjoy the simple things in life like caching, sitting around a fire with some mates and a few cold ones, good music - whatever ticks the box for you.

I used to joke my cache find graph showed when I had a girlfriend or not. But for the last 2 years it shows how I was feeling at the time instead (apart from April last year when I broke a rib!).

So for anyone else suffering there are options. See your doctor and get medication or a referral to a psych or counsellor. Read the resources on beyondblue and so on. Talk to friends and family if you can, even if you feel you shouldn't bother them and what you are feeling is wrong. Maybe it is wrong but it is what you are feeling and if those people care about you they will listen and offer advice. I am lucky I had a few good friends I could confide in to help me deal with the feelings.

Congratulations mate on working through it, and having the courage to come out and say it and apologise to people you may have offended. I am following your lead to help give hope to anyone else who may be suffering. And let's hope this doesn't end up as the "cachers with depression" forum topic 8)

cdmark
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Re: Blanket Apology

Post by cdmark » 22 July 09 11:40 pm

Bronze wrote:
Depression is a very strange experience and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It drives a wedge into everything you love and paints black all that was once worthwhile. I attribute my vast improvement to persistent and tolerant friendships; medication, acupuncture and being rejoined with my family.
Well put. You don't often see it coming.

Welcome back in all aspects.

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MtnLioness
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Re: Blanket Apology

Post by MtnLioness » 22 July 09 11:54 pm

I understand where you have been also.

But be assured - once you've been down that path and have found your way out, you will never tread that path again!!

On ya Mate!

Damo.
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Re: Blanket Apology

Post by Damo. » 23 July 09 12:33 am

Always enjoyed and appreciated your contribution to the forum Bronze.
Nice to see you posting again. :)

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Bronze
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Re: Blanket Apology

Post by Bronze » 23 July 09 2:36 am

Thank guys and gals for your kind words.

As you can see insomnia is part and parcel of sorting my synapses out.

I know I'm not alone. It's sad just how common the black dog is but this thread isn't just about depression. I wanted to not only apologise but to emphasise what a wonderful support network we have here and that even though we are spread out all over the country this method of connection, communication makes us all neighbours regardless of distance.

Thanks again for your welcome. And for those who don't know me I look forward to sharing chat and camp fire with you in the future.

Regards,

B.

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Sunshine Toledo
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Re: Blanket Apology

Post by Sunshine Toledo » 23 July 09 9:14 am

Welcome back, Mate; although we haven't met I know where you have been. All the best.

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listmaker
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Re: Blanket Apology

Post by listmaker » 23 July 09 1:34 pm

Thanks for reaching out and sharing your experience with depression, Bronze. The more it's talked about the less of a taboo it'll be and that can only be good for anyone who feels they're suffering alone.

Keep getting well, and I hope your interest in caching (dunno about the VWs) is rekindled in time.

Elisa

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VWNuts
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Re: Blanket Apology

Post by VWNuts » 23 July 09 7:48 pm

C'mon Bronze get back to the VW Forums as well..... :D
Will catch up with ya soon

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Papa Bear_Left
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Re: Blanket Apology

Post by Papa Bear_Left » 23 July 09 10:02 pm

A blanket and a teapot. Welcome back!

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Bronze
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Re: Blanket Apology

Post by Bronze » 24 July 09 12:03 am

Ha ha - Very Clever papa bear. You see the way I see things. Posting a 1000 words at a time between img tags.

Yes - I need to get another VW again. Driving 20%; fixing 50%; and admiring 30% of my Vw time was the most pleasure I got except family outings and building websites. I need to pick up the guitar again as well.

A great day included my family and guitar in the VW looking for a cache.

B.

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stealth_ninja_penguin
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Re: Blanket Apology

Post by stealth_ninja_penguin » 24 July 09 6:53 pm

Hi my metal friend. Good to hear from you. We've always thought of looking you up if we're over your way. If ever you're over our way, give us a call and we could catch up for a cuppa.
Keep smelling those roses,
Kind Regards, Stealth (and Nomad) :wink:

swampgecko
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Re: Blanket Apology

Post by swampgecko » 24 July 09 8:26 pm

NO apology needed my friend.

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