JOKES JOKES JOKES

[d.d.dudes]

2 fish in a tank and one turns to other and says............."sheeeesh Ron..................How do you drive this thing??"........................

Somebody give me some sugar

[The Owls]

Two guys were qeocaching and came to a river just as it was getting dark. They were trying to figure out how to get across and the first one said, "I'll shine the torch across the river and you can walk on the beam of light." The second guy says, "What, do you think I'm an idiot?! . . . I'll get half way across and you'll turn the torch off . . ."
WHAT COUNTRY DO YOU THINK THEY WERE FROM...........

[d.d.dudes]

Two guys were qeocaching and came to a river just as it was getting dark. They were trying to figure out how to get across and the first one said, "I'll shine the torch across the river and you can walk on the beam of light." The second guy says, "What, do you think I'm an idiot?! . . . I'll get half way across and you'll turn the torch off . . ."
WHAT COUNTRY DO YOU THINK THEY WERE FROM...........

........probably from the same country where they found a skeleton in a cupboard in an old house....................CSI thought they would be in for a big one a until they found a dog tag around its neck it read...........".Winner of the 1972 hide and seek championships"

[The Owls]

After a British Airways flight reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:

' Ladies and gentlemen , this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293 , non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and..... OH, MY GOD !'

Silence followed!

Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.
'Ladies and gentlemen , I'm sorry if I scared you . While I was talking to you , a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'


One Irish passenger yelled, 'bye jezis you should see the back of mine!

[pipes_down_under]

After a British Airways flight reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:

' Ladies and gentlemen , this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293 , non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto ............

HuH!?!? Deja Vu!

OK, I just found out why Cannibals don't eat Clowns..............................apparently they taste funny.

[d.d.dudes]

Q. Whats a shitzu?..........A. a zoo without animals (yeah its old)

[Ozibags]

How many geocachers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, it's not about the numbers!

[nibbler]

this is not politically correct but i thought it was funny even though I am a female

What do you get when you mix PMS with GPS?


A crazy bitch who will find you !!

[stringy]

Q. Why did the lizard cross the road?

A. Too see his flat mate

[d.d.dudes]

Q Whats small, wrinkled and hangs out your underpants
A your grandmother

[PesceVerde]

Two people flying in a plane when the captain announced "Good evening ... There has been some
trouble with one engine and we've had to shut it down. The plane has four engines so there's
no need for alarm, but we'll be a little late to our destination."

A few minutes later the captain announced "... We've had to shut down another engine. The
plane has four engines so there's no need for alarm, but we'll be a little later to our
destination."

A few minutes later the captain announced "... Umm. We've had to shut down another engine.
There's no need for alarm but we will be even later to our destination."

Paddy turns to Shawn and says "Knowing my luck they'll shut down all the engines and we'll be
up here all night!"

[stringy]

A geocacher and a normal person were on top of the harbour bridge.

They had a bet of who would hit the water first.

They jumped.... Who do you reckon hit the water first?

The normal person did because the geocacher asked for the directions.

[PesceVerde]

Paddy and Shaun sold potatoes off the back of a truck.
They bought em for a dollar and sold em for a dollar.

"We're not making a profit." says Shaun.
Paddy ponders and says "Ah! I see the problem."
"We need a bigger truck."

(Sorry)____

[The Tardis Trio]

How can you tell if someone owns an iPhone.....

They tell you

[Bronnie_1990]

A Priest, a Rabbi and a Minister walk into a bar. The Bartender looks up and says ... "What, Is this some kind of a joke?