JOKES JOKES JOKES

[Crisp image]

After a British Airways flight reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:
'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto. The weather ahead is good so we should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and ... OH MY GOD!'

Silence followed!


Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.
'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'



One Irish passenger yelled,

'by Jaysus you should see the back of mine!'

[d.d.dudes]

Q..What do get when you cross Lassie with a vicious pit bull/doberman......................................................................
A..a dog that rips your leg off.......then goes and gets help!![/i]

[stealth_ninja_penguin]

So I said to the Russian;
What's the hurry?

RAOTFLMHO

[stealth_ninja_penguin]

How does a Lion like his meat cooked?

ROAR!!

hee, hee, hee

[stealth_ninja_penguin]

I think my car has had it.

The wheels are tired and the muffler is exhausted!

Hee, hee, hee

[stealth_ninja_penguin]

I have to take my window to the Hospital.
It has a pane

[CaleD]

How do you make a cat go woof?
Cover it in petrol and put a match to it.

How do you make a dog go meow?
Freeze it and put it through a sawmill.

[d.d.dudes]

What do you get when you cross peanut butter with an elephant!......Either an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth or peanut butter that never forgets..............awe that hurt

[d.d.dudes]

.........what does?????

[KevL]

Just before take off of a 747, a pilot with a white stick gets on with his guide dog.He walks up through the main isle where .......skip foreward .......i'd never know when to lift this baby!"

[/i][/b]

Looks a lot like pg1 post 3 by Rogue.

[ArgusTuft]

What's wrong with you if your feet smell and your nose runs?












You're built upside down!!!!

[Papa Bear_Left]

Before the 25th: some laugh-out-loud funny jokes.
Since the 25th: shark well and truly jumped.

See the effect that those stupid jokes in Christmas crackers have on people's senses of humour?

We should ban cracker jokes!

(Mind you, it does explain why Little Britain got more than one series...)

[nomad_penguin]

Unfortunately it wasn't Christmas crackers that did that to Stealth Ninja Penguin. He's like it *all* the time .

[d.d.dudes]

Before the 25th: some laugh-out-loud funny jokes.
Since the 25th: shark well and truly jumped.

See the effect that those stupid jokes in Christmas crackers have on people's senses of humour?

We should ban cracker jokes!

(Mind you, it does explain why Little Britain got more than one series...)

.............now thats...........funny stuff!!!!!!!!!!

2 cows in the middle of a field in the middle of nowhere...........one goes "mooooooooooooooo".....................the other goes "awe damn i was just about to say that"......................................................
....................sheeesh tuff crowd

[d.d.dudes]

2 snakes sliding down a path.................one goes" hey Frank are we poisoness" the other says "Yes Bob i think we are" ........................"noooooooooooooooo" says Bob "i think i just bit my tongue".............haaaaaaaa.......has anyone changed threads yet.........