JOKES JOKES JOKES

For all your general chit chat, caching or not.
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d.d.dudes
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Re: JOKES JOKES JOKES

Post by d.d.dudes » 02 February 11 10:30 pm

......irish setter caught in a bear trap is struggling.A fox comes up and says, "hey when wer'e caught like that in a trap we chew off one of or legs. Hurts abit but we get away." The irish setter replies..........." tried that...no good... iv'e already chewed off 3 and i'm still stuck :mrgreen:

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Papa Bear_Left
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Re: JOKES JOKES JOKES

Post by Papa Bear_Left » 02 February 11 11:59 pm

bubbles_baby123 wrote:A Priest, a Rabbi and a Minister walk into a bar. The Bartender looks up and says ... "What, Is this some kind of a joke? :gnome
(True story) There's a place near here that hires backpackers for a few weeks at a time, and they often catch a bus to and from town, where they're staying in a hostel.

For a couple of months, there were the same three people who were regulars on my bus, an Englishwoman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman. I kept waiting for them to do something funny, probably involving money or alcohol, but they never did!

Captain Terror
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Re: JOKES JOKES JOKES

Post by Captain Terror » 08 February 11 1:34 am

What does an eagle and a mole have in common?


They both live underground. Except for the eagle.

..Well I laughed, but I am a sucker for anti-jokes :P

grahamf72
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Re: JOKES JOKES JOKES

Post by grahamf72 » 12 February 11 8:13 pm

A dyslexic walked into a bra...

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homedg
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Re: JOKES JOKES JOKES

Post by homedg » 14 February 11 11:56 pm

"dyslexics of the world untie"

Journeyman
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Re: JOKES JOKES JOKES

Post by Journeyman » 25 March 11 5:28 pm

A Scottish Soldier in full dress uniform marches into a chemists.

Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom.

The condom has a number of patches on it.

The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.

“How much to repair it?” the Scot asks the chemist.

“Six pence,” says the chemist.

“How much for a new one?”

“Ten pence,”says the chemist.

The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging.

A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside, followed by an even greater shout.

The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.

“The regiment has taken a vote,” he says.

“We’ll have a new one.”

Journeyman
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Re: JOKES JOKES JOKES

Post by Journeyman » 25 March 11 5:31 pm

Letter to Men's Helpline:-

Hey Mate, really need your advice for a serious problem:

I have suspected for some time now that the missus has been cheating. The usual signs; Phone rings, if I answer the caller hangs up, going out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat, when she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on...

It was at that moment crouched behind the boat I noticed... A "hairline crack" in the outboard mounting bracket...

Is that something I can weld myself or do I need to replace it?

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calumphing_four
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Re: JOKES JOKES JOKES

Post by calumphing_four » 16 April 11 12:25 am

What did Piglet yell when he found his friend Winnie The Pooh dead?




Stiff Shit :!:

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ozzie-jeeper
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Re: JOKES JOKES JOKES

Post by ozzie-jeeper » 16 April 11 2:27 pm

What have Maccas and Australia got in common :?:
.
:-"
.
:-"
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They are both run by red-headed clowns. [-X

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d.d.dudes
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Re: JOKES JOKES JOKES

Post by d.d.dudes » 16 May 11 10:03 am

Q How many geocachers does it take to change a light bulb???......................
A. 3..... one to change the bulb and the other 2 to check if no one sees him :mrgreen:

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Pesky!
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Re: JOKES JOKES JOKES

Post by Pesky! » 17 May 11 12:02 pm

d.d.dudes wrote:Q How many geocachers does it take to change a light bulb???......................
A. 3..... one to change the bulb and the other 2 to check if no one sees him :mrgreen:
light bulbs... I thought the answer would be None! as we all use our new Lenser 3w LED torch instead , or , we're all out looking for caches why do we need lightbulbs...

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ozzie-jeeper
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Re: JOKES JOKES JOKES

Post by ozzie-jeeper » 17 May 11 5:29 pm

DIVORCE VS. MURDER

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked him straight in the eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord ! have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law? I'll lose my licence! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

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bshwckr
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Re: JOKES JOKES JOKES

Post by bshwckr » 17 May 11 9:04 pm

What does DNA stand for?













National Dyslexics Association.

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noikmeister
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Re: JOKES JOKES JOKES

Post by noikmeister » 21 May 11 7:30 pm


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